Five MBA Essay Mistakes to Avoid

Hi everyone,

Now that we've reviewed a bunch of Round 1 essays, we revisited our "5 Mistakes" blog from last year and updated it slightly, but also found a lot of it is still pretty relevant!  As you're thinking about your Round 2 Essays, here are some quick traps to watch out for...

1. Answering a Different Question - As simple as this sounds, we have found that a number of essays sent to us actually answer a different question than what is being asked.  Many times, this is because candidates first identify parts of their personality and professional experiences that they want to showcase, and then figure out how to "force fit" these experiences into the essay questions. The best way to avoid this mistake? Do it the right way - think of the question, and then write the answer, not the other way around.  After you're done, go back and check - have you answered the question exactly as it's asked? 

2. Skimming over the Details - "That day, I learned how collaboration and teamwork are critical to leadership...". Whenever you have one of these "I realized / learned" revelations, check to make sure that before or after you have supporting details that explain why or how you realized what you did.  The best essays are detailed enough that they naturally lead the reader to the conclusion that you were trying to hit.

3. Distracting Creative Imagery - "Beads of sweat dotted my brow as I lifted the rusty hammer to hit the moss covered..".. Great for a fiction novel, not so great for a business school application. We have seen a number of essays which are fun to read because they are written so well - unfortunately, they're just not written for an application. Especially all you very gifted writers out there, try and keep a check and keep the language simple.

4. Language, Grammar - If English isn't your first language, invest a lot of time in polishing the language and grammar in your essays. While a lot of people think it is OK to write in loose language if you are an international applicant, remember that you are competing with other international applicants who may not have this problem. As long as it feels like you have taken the effort to polish the language, you'll be in good shape.

5. Super-glorifying your accomplishments - Essays are all about you and your achievements. We get that, and of course you should brag about your achievements.  At the same time, if you were a first year analyst in a MBS group in an investment bank, don't say you helped your organization battle the credit crisis (if you didn't). State your accomplishments as is, and they will sound great. In an attempt to magnify accomplishments, we have seen a lot of essays that lose their authenticity and credibility.

Hope this helps! If you have something else you'd like to see covered here, send us an email at essaycritique@gmail.com.  We look forward to working with you!

Michigan Ross MBA - Fall 2011 Essay Tips

Ross's deadline is coming up on October 11th, so here are a few tips on how to tackle the Fall 2011 essay questions.  Two of our four reviewers were accepted at Ross, so they offer their words of advice here... 

1.  Introduce yourself in 100 words or less (100 words)
New question, and this one is actually easier than you think.  We love it, because it's 100 words and it gives you the perfect opportunity to give AdCom your best elevator pitch about you, your life, your personality, your professional background, just about anything.  

Our two cents here - keep it light, this is an introduction, there's enough room in the other questions to talk about the serious stuff, so for here, just project yourself as someone that classmates would actually like to have a beer with after class.  Don't go overboard in doing so -- it's really alright to sound like a normal, fun person, with a few interests.  

2. Describe your career goals. How will the Ross MBA help you to achieve your goals? (500 word maximum)
Before you start writing this essay, create a map for yourself. Link your professional experiences of the past to how you got to where you are now and why you think an MBA is the best thing for you at this point in your career. These experiences should lead the reader to the natural conclusion that an MBA would be the idea thing for your career right now.

Then, think through your short term and long term goals (don't forget either one) - and do it at a level of specificity that makes the reader believe that you have invested time in this self reflection. A lot of people tell us - "I don't know what I want to do yet!" Well, if there's one thing that you could do of the many that you want to do, what would it be? Then lay out why Ross. For this piece it is important that you go a step beyond what jumps out at you from their website - go through specific programs and parts of their curriculum and link them to your goals. Discuss which programs or people that you have met or spoken to that caused you to consider Ross as a top school.

The most important thing about this question - your entire essay should appear to have a single theme - your past experiences, why MBA now, goals and Why Ross pieces should all appear tightly integrated with each other. 

3. Describe a time in your career when you were frustrated or disappointed. What did you learn from that experience? (500 word maximum)
Once you have the situation picked out, first describe why this was frustrating or disappointing. What may seem obvious to you may not be to the reader - explain what the situation meant for you in the role that you were in.

Whether you eventually conquered (or "won" in some way) makes no difference here. Don't try to force fit a "I overcame it by.." - you don't have to. It's OK if you don't have a win story here. What's important is that you discuss very openly and clearly what you took away from the experience. How did your personality change after this incident(s) occurred? How did your attitude towards other people or an organization change? What would you do differently if you were faced with a similar situation in the future? 

4a. What are you most passionate about and why? (300 word maximum)

What a great opportunity to pick a topic of your choice and discuss why it's important to you!  The only thing here is, be sure to highlight how, in the past and in the present you actually 'apply' this passion in your life.   Use this essay - we highly recommend it! 

4b.  We expect that Ross MBAs will not only be effective leaders, but also effective teachers. How will you contribute to the learning experience of your peers at Ross? (300 word maximum)

If you feel like you have nothing substantial to say in Q. 4a (it's okay), this is a good alternative.  Use your professional background or community experience to describe how you will share with your peers at Ross.  You can discuss student clubs, initiatives that you will take, classroom projects, etc.  If you have professional networks that the class can benefit from, this is a good place to mention it! 

Good luck, folks - try and get your essays read by an independent, unbiased set of eyes!  Even if you don't use our services, be sure to ask someone that doesn't know you for their candid opinion on your essays - this is the best "preview" of AdCom's feedback.  

HBS Essays - Final Pointers for Round 1

As our reviewers are in the home stretch and busily reviewing HBS Round 1 essays for the deadline, a few reminders / pointers from our HBS alum based on common errors they've seen in the essays they've reviewed so far:

1. What have you learned from a mistake?  Remember, the question asks about a mistake, not a failure, not how you fixed a problem in the company, and not what you learned from a challenging professional experience.  Too many essays we've seen for this question completely miss the point.  Don't feel compelled to demonstrate a heroic endeavor here - just state the mistake you made, and what you learned from it.

2.  Renewable energy and Microfinance -- if you are going to express an interest in either of these things, make sure you explain why and what you've done in these areas.  Readers like us (and admissions officers) can get put off reading about these buzzworthy topics essay after essay if there isn't real substance in them.

3. Introduce yourself essay - try to lighten up.  It's okay to brag (really, it is), but at the same time, you want to introduce yourself and your real personality.  If you care about family, say that.  If you care most about mountain biking, say that.  Don't feel pressured to describe yourself as the flag bearer of literacy in the world if you aren't one.

4. Don't litter your essays with names of HBS grads remotely related to you or friends of friends that you have talked to once.  Use names only if it makes sense to do so and if it meaningfully contributes to what you are saying in your essay.

5. Finally, get your essays read and reviewed.  The entire package, not individually.  Get them read by family, friends, but most importantly, by an independent reader that doesn't know you at all.  Remember, the admissions officers only know you from what they read in your essays.  This may sound as a shameless plug for our services, but it's not.  You can get your essays reviewed by us or anyone else out there, but get them read by an unbiased reader that doesn't know you personally. 

Hope this helps!  Good luck this week to all Round 1 applicants. 

Note: We will be reviewing HBS essays until just before the deadline and are offering 24 hour turnarounds at a premium rate for those interested. 

HBS Essays Fall 2011

Thanks for all your emails, questions and for your business.   A number of you wrote to us and asked for our HBS alum / reviewer to publish tips on the HBS essay questions, so here they are!
 
What are your three most substantial accomplishments and why do you view them as such? (600-word limit)

• We view this classic HBS essay as a microcosm of your entire application -  great opportunity to showcase your professional, personal and community activities in one tight essay and get the reader started on a good note
• We find a lot of candidates have a hard time picking from their many accomplishments - which one should we discuss here?  If you're not sure, write a 200 - 250 essay on each of your accomplishments and then pick the three you like best.
• Don't forget the second part of the question!  Why do you view the accomplishment as so critical in your life?   How did it impact you and what you did since? 

What have you learned from a mistake? (400-word limit)

• For highly accomplished candidates, this is THE hardest question to answer.  Know this and focus your attention on it early.
• 50% of essay responses to this question (of the ones we see, at least) are flawed because they dance around the "mistake" and candidates refuse to take accountability for what they did.  No matter how perfect you are, everyone makes mistakes!  Accept yours, explain it and discuss what you learned from it. 
• Avoid focusing this essay on how you fixed the mistake.  Again, a very common error is to spend the first few sentences explaining what the mistake was and the rest of the essay describing the glorious ways in which you fixed it.   Rather, focus on what you learned.  

What would you like the MBA Admissions Board to know about your undergraduate academic experience? (400-word limit) 

• Use this question to either explain away low academic performance, discuss a strong curricular project or significant extra curricular experience

What is your career vision and why is this choice meaningful to you?

• We recommend you use this question almost 100% of the time – it’s a great place to discuss professional goals, aspirations and how they relate to your experiences
• This is also a good place to fit the “Why HBS” story – without really telling it explicitly – i.e., anyone reading the essay should naturally lead to the conclusion that HBS is what you need next
• Try to avoid “copying” your standard short / long term goals essay here – this explicitly asks for “Career Vision”, mostly implying a longer term vision 

Tell us about a time in your professional experience when you were frustrated or disappointed.

• The question asks for when you were frustrated or disappointed – much easier to answer than the classic “failure” or “mistake” question
• While writing about why you were frustrated or disappointed, be careful not to sound as though you are blaming everyone around you for the incident – this can come off sounding very obnoxious
• Describe how you fixed the situation or made yourself feel better, but don’t feel compelled to project yourself as the smartest guy around.

When you join the HBS Class of 2013, how will you introduce yourself to your new classmates?

• Great question – perfect opportunity and everyone should use this essay unless you really have a good reason to not
• Bring in your true personality here – especially the fun stuff, family stuff, the hobbies, the “out there” accomplishments
• Make yourself sound like someone that others would like to hang with – think of this as an interview over an essay.  

Wharton Essays 2011

Ready to apply to Round 1?  Alright, here's some essay guidance from our Wharton alum who is one of our reviewers!

Required Question:  What are your professional objectives? (300 words)

• Keep it simple!  Very limited space here, and this is probably the most important question of the lot. 
• One way to answer this question could be to describe your background very briefly, bridge to how Wharton fits in and then move on to describe what your objectives are
• Avoid: Grandiose openings - "I believe I can change the world".  I don't doubt that you can, but you would be surprised how many people use this as their opening line.

Optional: If you were able to create a Wharton course on any topic, what would it be? (700 words) 

• Great question, and not the easiest one to answer.  But this question affords you a LOT of space (100 words more than the others) to translate your passion.  Use it if you can. 
• If you decide to use this question, explain clearly how this works with your background and your objectives. 
• Be creative!  This is your chance.  But also, be tactical.  Describe what the course would cover and how it would be delivered.

Optional: Reflect on a time when you turned down an opportunity. What was the thought process behind your decision? Would you make the same decision today? (600 words)

• Use this question only if you have actually ever been in this situation.  We've seen a number of candidates try to "fit" an experience into this answer, and it doesn't work!
• Remember to clearly explain why you chose the path that you did - why it seemed to be the "best" of options available to you at the time
• You can leverage this question to demonstrate your evolution and growth!  Especially if you chose to say that you would not make the same decision today.  Explain why. 

Optional: Describe a failure that you have experienced. What role did you play, and what did you learn about yourself? How did this experience help to create your definition of failure? (600 words)

• Based on experience, we find that most "high performing" candidates have a great degree of difficulty answering this question.  Take your time with it because it won't be easy. 
• The second half of this question is critical - definition of failure.  Your articulation of the experience should lead the reader to naturally believing why this defined "failure" for you in the context that you were in. 
• A lot of candidates try to bring out what they did "right" after the failure - this is okay, but you can't use 90% of this essay to talk about what you did well.  This is a failure essay!

Option: Discuss a time when you navigated a challenging experience in either a personal or professional relationship. (600 words)   

• This question presents a great opportunity to present your personal side if you haven't done so in the other essays; or even your personal side in a professional environment
• Most candidates avoid this question because they feel like there's not enough "meat" in the eventual answer they come up with - but you can articulate the challenge and why it was challenging and how it helped you in a strong and detailed manner

It's time for Round 1 and We're Back!

Hi everyone,

First of all, we're so excited that so many of our clients from last year got admitted to the best Business schools in the country (we covered each and every one of the top 15!!).   The thank you notes and the many successes in our first year of operations have led us to come back again for another one!

Round 1 is not too far away, and hopefully a lot of you are thinking of your application and essay strategy already.  For the eager beavers amongst you, our reviewers are available starting tomorrow, July 24th for your essay reviews.

We look forward to another successful year!  If you have questions, check out our "How it Works" section, or send us an email at essaycritique@gmail.com.

Thanks,
Tim Power