Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pet Peeve Series: Will vs. Would

How many times have you used "would" in your essay instead of "will" and vice versa? If you don't know, you're not alone. This is one of the most frequent language errors on the essays we critique, so we wanted to set the record straight.

There is, in fact, a significant difference between the two - here is a self explanatory summary of the difference (courtesy of a public web source):

1. Would and will are both auxiliary modal verbs (yes, we know you don't care about this one)

2. Will is used to talk about definite future actions - quick decisions, promises, offers and a likely prediction

3. Would is used to talk about: invitations, requests, asking permission, talking about preferences and making arrangements.

If that isn't clear enough, here are some essay style examples to illustrate:

Incorrect: "At Wharton, I would participate in the GCP.. " - Will you? Then say you WILL.

Incorrect: "I will like to lead the Consulting club.." - You are stating a preference - you WOULD like to.

Need more clarity? Write to us, we'll be happy to help!

Monday, December 28, 2009

5 Common Essay Mistakes

As we go through the many essays we review, themes emerge and we see a few common mistakes repeated several times. We thought it might be useful for R2 applicants to use this list to review their essays:

1. Answering a Different Question - As simple as this sounds, we have found that a number of essays submitted to us actually answer a different question than what is being asked. The most plausible reason for this is because a lot of applicants actually identify the parts of their personality and professional experiences that they want to demonstrate first, and then figure out how to "force fit" these experiences into the essay questions. The best way to avoid this mistake? Do it the right way - think of the question, and then write the answer, not the other way around.

2. Skimming over the Details - "That day, I learned how collaboration and teamwork are critical to leadership...". Any time you have one of these "I realized / learned / found out" statements, double check to make sure that before or after you have supporting details that explain why or how you realized what you did. The supporting information should naturally lead the reader to the conclusion that you are then stating.

3. Distracting Creative Imagery - "Beads of sweat dotted my brow as I lifted the rusty hammer to hit the moss covered..".. Great for a fiction novel, not so great for a business school application. We have seen a number of essays which are fun to read because they are written so well - unfortunately, they're just not written for an application. Especially all you very gifted writers out there, try and keep a check and keep the language simple.

4. Language, Grammar - If English isn't your first language, invest a lot of time in polishing the language and grammar in your essays. While a lot of people think it is OK to write in loose language if you are an international applicant, remember that you are competing with other international applicants who may not have this problem. As long as it feels like you have taken the effort to polish the language, you'll be in good shape.

5. Overtly glorifying your accomplishments - Essays are all about you and your achievements. We get that. At the same time, if you were a first year analyst in a MBS group in an investment bank, don't say you helped your organization battle the credit crisis (if you didn't). State your accomplishments as is, and they will sound great. In an attempt to magnify accomplishments, we have seen a lot of essays that lose their authenticity and credibility.

Hope this helps! If you have something else you'd like to see covered here, send us an email.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Top 10 - What Not To Do

You've seen a large number of posts from us and many others on what you should do with your essays. Knowing what not to do is probably as important, if not more, than what to do...

So, DON'T:

1. Exceed the word count

2. Use "I realized" ad nauseum - we actually have a tool that counts what we call absolutely overused essay phrases and this is top of the list..

3. Gloss over the details - the AdCom is more interested in understanding the specifics of what you did than the broad, high level generalizations that you felt during the situation you are describing

4. Say "I was enchanted" or enraptured or captured or any such magical sounding verb - c'mon, were you really?!

5. Suggest that you were in the epicenter of the financial crisis and helped solve it - unless you really did.

6. Say you volunteered or are a 'community service' type of guy if you are not. If you are, say where, when, how and how much.

7. Use every essay to talk about your career. You need at least one "personal" essay, if not two (depending on the school that you are applying to)

8. Blame everyone but yourself in your 'failure' essay. Even though you might not think you have, revisit it - we can't state how many people do this because its embarrassing.

9. Ignore the question. As plainly obvious as this might sound, after you have written your essay, re-read your answer once to only check for this - have you answered each component of the question that is asked and done it justice?

10. State the obvious. Let your discussion of situations and experiences naturally lead the reader to your conclusions - e.g., after describing a particularly challenging time in your life, don't say "this experience was extremely challenging" - they get it.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

General Essay Guidance

A few general instructions that apply to all Business School essays...

1. Follow the instructions - Stay within the word count (if you are 5 words over, you can edit 5 words away no matter what), follow the font and line spacing instructions and any specific submission instructions such as putting your name on the top of each page, etc. Look for these instructions because sometimes they're not easy to find.

2. Be yourself - Re-read your essays and make sure you hear your own voice. Don't try to package yourself into someone who you think will be accepted. The AdComs are experts at detecting these "packaged" essays and will not let them pass, even if you have outstanding academic and professional qualifications.

3. Get your essays reviewed! You might think this is biased coming from me, but seriously, get your essays read by somebody besides the people who know you. Your family and friends hear your voice and know a lot about you besides what's in the essay, so they view it very differently than the AdCom would. Get your essays reviewed by a third party (try us or try someone else) - it will be worth it, especially given the time you have already put into them. Ideally, this independent party should be B-school students or alums themselves.

4. Use the optional essay only if you need to - For schools that give you an optional essay to describe anything that may not already be covered, use it only if you must - otherwise, let it go.

Wharton Round 2 Essay Guidance

1. Goals / Why Wharton: Wharton changed the prompt of this essay this year to include their own goal statement to prompt applicants to think creatively about their strategic goals and how it will impact their worlds.

When writing this essay, try to talk through your professional and personal experiences and how your goals came about from these experiences and why you are committed to these goals. Go on then to talk about why an MBA now, and why Wharton. Make a clear linkage between your short term and long term goals and how Wharton's specific components are going to help you achieve the goals.

DON'T: Try to force fit yourself into someone that wants to make a difference in the global community and wants to change the world if your prior experience does not suggest any efforts to do this. They don't want grandiose, they want simple, committed people who know what their goals are.

2. Adapting to people different than yourself: Think creatively here - you don't have to talk about diversity from a geographic, regional or race perspective. Diversity can be from age, professional experiences or even general living environments.

Try not to make up a story about your travels / understanding of various cultures, unless you really have substantive experiences to share. This one is hard, so invest time into it.

3. Failure: This is a critical question and will reveal a lot about you. Be man (or woman) enough to discuss HOW you failed (not just what happened as a result of the failure).

Use as many words to talk about what you did wrong (and re-read it to make sure you are not diverting the blame to others) and what you learned about yourself and what impact it had on you. Again, keep it real - this is the essay that can truly expose your natural personality, for better or worse.

Michigan Ross - Fall 2010 Essay Tips

A few tips from our reviews on Michigan Ross Essays:

1. Briefly describe your short-term and long-term career goals. Why is an MBA the best choice at this point in your career? What and/or who influenced your decision to apply to Ross?

Before you start writing this essay, create a map for yourself. Link your professional and personal experiences of the past to how you got to where you are now and why you think an MBA is the best thing for you at this point in your career. These experiences should lead the reader to the natural conclusion that an MBA would be the idea thing for your career right now.

Then, think through your short term and long term goals (don't forget either one) - and do it at a level of specificity that makes the reader believe that you have invested time in this self reflection. A lot of people tell us - "I don't know what I want to do yet!" Well, if there's one thing that you could do of the many that you want to do, what would it be?

Then lay out why Ross. For this piece it is important that you go a step beyond what jumps out at you from their website - go through specific programs and parts of their curriculum and link them to your goals. Discuss which programs or people that you have met or spoken to that caused you to consider Ross as a top school.

Your entire essay should appear to have a single theme - your past experiences, why MBA now, goals and Why Ross pieces should all appear tightly integrated with each other.


2. Describe your most significant professional accomplishment. Elaborate on the leadership skills you displayed, the actions you took and the impact you had on your organization.

First, let's remind ourselves - this question asks for THE most significant professional accomplishment. It's best to stick to one experience and describe it in detail. Lay out what the situation was and how it became an opportunity for you to demonstrate your leadership skills.

Describe what you did at a detailed level - e.g., don't say "I identified new ways for the group to collaborate" without calling out what these methods were. Your audience is very interested in learning how you achieved what you did, and not just what the impact of your actions were.

As far as impact goes, remember to include both short term and long term (if any) benefits. Describe the business, people, process and technology benefits that your actions brought about within the organization.


3. If you were not pursuing the career goals you described in Question 1, what profession would you pursue instead? (for example, teacher, musical, athlete, architect, etc.) How will this alternate interest contribute to your effectiveness in solving multi-disciplinary problems?

This is your opportunity to expose your personal side and endear yourself to your readers - don't let it go by without making an impression. Think back to when you were younger - what did you see yourself being before you knew about the consulting or investment banking professions?

Think through your personal experiences - has someone - a teacher, for instance, touched you in a way that inspired you to be who you are today? Is that something that you'd want to do for others?

Finally, explain how this interest will contribute to your success as a leader who will be creative and multi-faceted to solve the many challenges that will come your way.


4. Describe your experience during a challenging time in your life. Explain how you grew personally, either despite this challenge or because of it.

Again, another opportunity to expose your personal side to AdCom. We like to see personal experiences here, rather than professional, because the first two really do give you a lot of opportunity to discuss your professional experiences. However, if you think your professional experience was a really trying time through which you learned a lot, by all means, use it.

Once you have the situation picked out, describe why this was challenging. What may seem obvious to you may not be to the reader - explain what the challenges meant for you on a day to day basis and why you consider this one of the most difficult periods of your life.

Whether you eventually conquered (or "won" in some way) makes no difference here. Don't try to force fit a "I overcame it by.." - you don't have to. It's OK if you don't have a win story here. What's important is that you discuss very openly and clearly what you took away from the experience. How did your personality change after this incident(s) occurred? How did your attitude towards other people or an organization change? What would you do differently if you were faced with a similar situation in the future?

You don't have to answer each of these questions, but think of them as a checklist that you go through in your mind as you write your answer down.

Good luck, folks - look forward to reviewing some more of your essays.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

MBA Essay Review FAQ

Why Should You Get Your Essays Reviewed?
First, because your essays are the only "differentiator" in your application. Second, because we give you the AdCom's perspective on your essays - unlike your family and friends, we view your essays through an impersonal lens, just like the AdCom does.


1. What does your review include?
A typical "single-essay" review has three major components - structural, content and language. Our reviewers' commentary will include suggestions for changing the structure of a sentence or paragraph or the entire essay, substance of the essay (does it answer the question and does it work?) and English language style and grammar corrections. They also frequently suggest word changes or phrase changes where appropriate. Reviewers also look for alignment with the school's requirements - word count, font size, spacing, etc. when they review your essay. For each essay, you can expect overall comments from the reviewer as well as detailed tracked changes in the document.

For a "set of essays", besides everything described above, the reviewer also provides overall comments on whether the essays fit together and how impactful your overall storyboard will be for your audience. As an example, they might ask you to stress more on personal vs. business experiences or encourage you to discuss a facet of your life in a little more detail. We do not write essays or provide "templates" for essays. We are only helping you project yourself and articulate your unique story in a way that is compelling for the audience - i.e., the Admissions Committee.

2. Is it one review or can we go back and forth with the reviewer?
Depending on the "level of completion" of the essay (i.e., how ready it is to submit), the reviewer may offer you a repeat review either free of charge (if it is very close) or at a nominal fee.

3. What makes you different from admissions consultants?
First, we are NOT admissions consultants. We don't tell you which schools to apply to, or where you will fit best, or whether you should apply to business school at all. Second, our four reviewers are from three schools - Wharton, HBS and Stanford. All four are either students or alums. Third, our rates are not ridiculous. We don't think anyone should pay an arm and a leg to get help with their application and our rates are very reasonable and cover the cost of our reviewers' time.

4. Why are B-school students from these schools doing this? Don't they have high paying jobs?
Yes, they do. For all but one of our reviewers, this is a part time job. Why do they do this? A few reasons - (1) to earn extra cash (2) to give some of this extra cash, rather than their salary, to their favorite charitable organizations (3) to help prospective students in their applications. Our reviewers' work experience includes Finance, Management Consulting, Not for Profit and Operations & Technology.

5. Are essays reviewed by the alums of the same school? i.e., will a Wharton alum review my Wharton essay?
We have a scheduler (who also writes this blog!) who schedules time on the calendar of the reviewers to review essays. I try very hard to assign the essays to the school alum. As you can imagine, especially as we near a deadline, this becomes a little challenging, but I can say we have a pretty good track record of being able to do this.

6. What if my school's deadline is earlier than 72 hours? Will you accommodate an urgent request?
Ask us. We'll try our best to accomodate your request. In the peak of busy season, there may be an additional fee associated with these requests.

7. Why do you review essays? Why are essays important?
Every year, thousands of applicants with incredible professional and academic qualifications and high GMAT scores get rejected from the best business schools. We believe the ONLY differentiators in an application is the essays. It can make or break your application and be the deciding factor into getting into a school of your choice. This is especially true if you come from a "classic" business school applicant demographic.

8. I don't see any testimonials here. Do you have satisfied customers?
Yes. Testimonials are pointless - anyone can make them up. We have several extremely satisfied customers and would be happy to put you in touch with some who have volunteered to recommend our services.

9. What is your success rate? How many of the essays you review actually "make it"?
We don't track success rates. For the same reason that we don't put testimonials on our website. We can say that our customers have been happy enough to come back to us for a second and third set of essays for various schools because of their satisfaction with the first set of school essays.

10. How do you maintain such low rates?
We don't do this for a living (which doesn't mean we aren't very good at it). We charge what we think is a reasonable charge for the reviewers time and doesn't break the wallet for applicants. Also, we don't maintain a fancy website and don't have a physical office to pay for.

11. Will my essays ever be shared in a public forum?
No. We enter into an explicit confidentiality agreement with you when your order is confirmed that your essays (in whole or part) will never be shared with anyone except the reviewer for the purpose of reviewing only.
12. Can I see a sample of your work?
Sure. Send us a request at essaycritique@gmail.com and we'll send you a mock up of our work. We don't share actual samples of work because of the confidentiality clause in Q. 11.

13. How do I send my payment?
Via Paypal - it is secure, fast and easy.

14. Can I try your services before I send you a set of essays?
Yes. Via the $50 single essay package. We do strongly believe, however, that the $150 package is our best value for money.

15. Can I speak to my reviewer live after I get comments?
You can request this and we'll try our best to accommodate the request. Often, people don't need this because the reviewer's comments are VERY detailed in the document.

16. What format should I submit my essays in? Do I email them to you?
Any format compatible with Word - RTF, doc, docx, Open Office, Google docs are all acceptable. If you only have PDF, we'll work with that too. Yes, email them to us at essaycritique@gmail.com

17. How much before a school deadline should I submit the essays?
Technically, we ask for 72 hours. However, because we can get very busy right before deadlines, we highly recommend giving us a week before the deadline.

18. I asked my mom and friends to review my essays? Is it still helpful for me if you look at them?
Yes - family and friends view you through a different lens. They hear your essay as though you are telling them, not one of ten thousand applicants that they don't know. We give you the independent, third party review that is critical because that's how you will be viewed by AdCom.

19. How do I know you're good and will be helpful?
You won't know until you try us - so please give us a shot. We look forward to working with you and helping you along the journey.

We look forward to working with you!